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Entry: on honesty and other musings Wednesday, April 21, 2004

i wish i could meet someone who knows how to value brutal honesty.

someone i can talk to about anything and everything on my mind, without having to fear about being judged, because she is aware that it doesn't even matter whether we agree or not, what's important is that we can learn, just from hearing out each other's thoughts.

someone who appreciates being told the truth, no matter how trivial, so we could always take comfort in knowing exactly where we stand, and not have to go on false assumptions, lost in the agony of darkness.

someone i can give my trust to and rest easy with, because there would be no room for insecurities and tiresome bouts of paranoia on both camps.

and lastly, someone who doesn't waste her time playing silly stupid mind games and lies, because she understands that even the wisest and strongest of people can have the most fragile of hearts.

***

no guys, no girls, or anything in between.

***

ang dating daan. i always catch my family watching this. no, they're not members of that group (thank god). not yet anyway. but i see them almost every night, my dad and my older brother especially, glued to the tube and sucking every word that comes out of Bro. Eli Soriano's mouth. grrr... argh...

sitting quietly in my room, i can't help but hear all the preaching coming out of that box. sometimes i have to grit my teeth and bite my tongue just to keep myself from lashing out at the absurdity they dare to advertise as logic. it saddens me that so many people actually believe in these kinds of things.

tired of thinking? don't worry! for anything and everything, the answer is in the Bible! why do you have to use your own mind and have to think for yourself? but that's too hard! we're only human after all. there's an easier way, man. we have the Bible! so shut off your brain and come join us! we have the Bible!

***

no guys, no girls, or anything in between.

***

has anyone seen that new jinggoy commercial? yes, jinggoy estrada, son of the former president, who is now apparently running for a seat in the senate. after watching it for the first time last night, i honestly don't know what to feel. on the one hand, it was utterly revolting. here they go again with the "maka-masa" bandwagon. oh please, that's sooo cliché. sheesh. they should know, they made it cliché.

on the other hand, i wanted to laugh my guts out. i mean, didn't they both start out as actors? then why did the acting in that advertisement plain SUCK? jinggoy hugging erap just felt so... uh... fake. and to think they didn't even have to act! after all, they really ARE father and son, aren't they? i wonder if he'll eventually become a senator. with the way filipinos vote? i wouldn't be surprised. don't forget, even Loi made it last time around. but dammit, what a waste those votes would be. *sigh*

if not for him bringing the World Grand Prix to Manila back in '99 and 2000, i really wouldn't know how to justify jinggoy's existence in this universe.

***

no guys, no girls, or anything in between.

***

i have learned... that whenever a friend ignores me, i should not immediately go into panic mode. as much as possible, try to maintain rationality. 'coz if i don't, tables will turn and then she'll get mad at me, which was... weird. well, not everyone knows all the things i went through before. i suppose i can't blame them.

i have learned... that i should never go to the sunken garden alone, especially at night, and most definitely NOT when i'm depressed. the mood of the place just contributes to the problem, thereby inducing tears to fall without restraint. i think it's the grass. er... tends to make one "high", lol.

i have learned... that even if i'm all stressed out, i should not forget that i am still a human being and therefore i actually have to EAT. also, i should keep in mind that i have gastric ulcer, and if i'm not careful, someday that bottle of Maalox might not do the trick anymore.

i have learned... that not everyone can be trusted. my naive perception of people as innately well-meaning has gone down the drain. sometimes, you think you know a person... you've given them your complete trust and more, then thru your own means, you discover half of the things they told you were lies. perhaps it was just a difference in values. maybe lying is really no big deal for some people, but it is to me. so maybe that's it, huh? so much for the friendship. thanks for everything. i learned a lot.

***

no guys, no girls, or anything in between.

NADA.

7 comments


	scout April 30, 2004 12:45 AM PDT mar roxas & korina sanchez... an item... hmmm... why not just kris & korina? bagay sila di ba? they complement each other! heehee. (^_^)


	scout April 28, 2004 11:45 PM PDT in my friendster profile, i have there "person you'd like to meet: a simple open-minded thinking person". when my friend read it, he said "goodluck, you might as well shoot for the moon." ganun? headscratch and as for political ads, i think i'll reserve my comments for a separate article on the topic. ;)


	tequila breath April 28, 2004 05:08 AM PDT i don't think you expect too much from other people. i just think that the choice of personality traits that you want are often hard to find in most people. i think your ideal person is easy to find, the tricky part is knowing who that person is. hehe. trial and error nga. btw, the mar roxas ad also sucks bigtime. latest political chismis is that he and korina sanchez are an item. eeewww, imagine that. just droppin by from sunny san diego to say hi to my favorite blog owner. :)


	scout April 24, 2004 07:40 PM PDT "don't lower your expectations from yourself, just from other peeps" thanks, cha. exactly what i was thinking. ;) but really, di naman po ako mahirap i-please. ako na nga yata ang pinaka-understanding na taong makikilala mo in your lifetime. i always give allowances to people. kaya nga kapag nagalit ako, ibig sabihin SOBRA na talaga yon. saka ako rin naman may pagka-hedonistic. basta di nakaka-sakit sa iba, bakit mo pipigilan ang sarili mong maging masaya? isang beses ka lang mabubuhay. sayang naman, di ba? pero ngayon po parang mas gusto ko ng balikan ang dati kong philosophy - stoicism. yung tipong limited ang emotions mo. you're never too happy and never too sad - always in a balance. kaso delikado 'to eh. stoics are known to commit suicide pag di na nila nakayanan. saka masyado rin akong transparent sa nararamdaman ko. hmmm... parang di bagay.


	chabacz April 22, 2004 11:48 PM PDT that's the spirit! Dapat lang naman talaga ganun...don't lower your expectations from yourself, just from other peeps. Pero doesen't mean that you can't have fun na no. Sorry ha...hedonistic attitude talaga ako eh. hehehe. whatever makes you happy and all that...:)


	scout April 22, 2004 03:25 AM PDT maybe... but isn't any good relationship supposed to be built on honesty and trust? and when i say relationship, i mean friendship and everything else. without these things, it would be like building your house on sand. it just won't last. but i still don't exactly want to call this person an "asshole". she's not. difference in values nga lang siguro talaga. hindi na rin ako galit. wala nga akong maramdaman eh. ewan. pero siguro tama ka, i'll try to lower my expectations of people from now on. talagang maghihinay-hinay na ko ngayon, IN ALL ASPECTS. actually happy naman ako eh. of all the things that happened last week, you could say the glass is half empty. but i still choose to see it half FULL. may nangyari rin namang maganda eh. ;)


	chabacz April 22, 2004 12:22 AM PDT by just reading your entries sometimes I think you expect too much from some people...try not to and you'd be happier. you just have to accept that in this life there are assholes...and then there are ASSHOLES. Just my two cents. :)

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