Entry: confessions of a jaded mind Tuesday, May 11, 2004




love is nothing but a foolish game of "STARE"
played it so many times yet i never learned it well
that now i'm too afraid to be the first to blink
and fall face flat - AGAIN - into the pits of hell

***

what do you do when you've fallen out of hope,
and find that you haven't quite fallen out of love?

***

how do you hide your heart in the shadows
when you've convinced yourself it's best
to wear it proudly on your sleeves?

***

how do you teach yourself to grow cold
and pretend you don't feel anything at all
when the sadness is swallowing you whole?

***

how do you walk the thin red line,
when all you've ever known in your life
is to toggle between opposite extremes?

***

if love is just a foolish game of "STARE"
then why should i even try to play it fair?
no, not even that - why should i fall?
why should i be playing this game at all?
   4 comments

len
May 20, 2004   03:20 PM PDT
 
hmmm, its the same question that i am asking myself?
tequila breath
May 14, 2004   05:41 AM PDT
 
hindi naman selfing. hehe. you put yourself down too much. :) pareho lang tayong torpe. i've had so many crushes that i had to keep to myself out of fear na they'd find out and start avoiding me. weird noh? it's hard to be happy even though you know your frinedship is 'special' coz the whole time you're wishing that it could be sumthing more.

i'll let you in on a little secret, i just got lucky. my current gf was completely straight when i met her. we clicked instantly and became friends, the type na special kind of friendship. but like i said, i was with someone else at that time. but our closeness was still the same. yun yung times that i had been wishing that we'd turn out to be something more than friends. but i figured she had so many guys around her that there was no chance in this world for someone like me. however, prayers do get answered and wishes do come true. she learned to love me regardless of everything. and after 5 years, it's still like when we first met. :)

mushy na ba?

hmm, parang off topic na ako ha. hehe. bear with me.

i guess i just wanted to let you know that if and when it's real, all mind games disappear. things just fall into place. don't give up hope kiddo. :)
chabacz
May 12, 2004   12:06 PM PDT
 
mind games lang yan if your gonna make it into one. Straight forward here talking. Hahahaha! Lagi kasi akong nagsasabi pag nararamdaman ko eh. Tapos the ball's in the other court na. Pag hindi sumagot eh di, di ko na kailangan mag-isip. Pag sumagot naman ng positive, eh di ok. yun lang. Ang galing no? Hehehe.
scout
May 11, 2004   12:35 PM PDT
 
yes, me again. selfing. :P

ang stupid minsan ng love 'no? puro mind games. kaasar.

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